6 Ways Being Abandoned as A Child Affects You

Healing Means a Place to Grieve

6 Ways Abandonment As A Child Affects You

1. Problems with Love & Trust

Children need someone to count on. At least one parent to turn to when something hurts. Being left by a parent, or both of them, for whatever reason, is very traumatic. Abandonment as a child leaves scars.

2. Negative Voice in Your Head

The only way to “get rid” of that harsh voice is not to believe it. That’s easier said than done. The voice started a long time ago. Maybe even before you were abandoned as a child. There are three major reasons for it being there.

3. Self-Destructive Behaviors

When you don’t know what to do with your feelings, you’ve got to find some way. Sometimes those ways aren’t healthy. Or they end up with you turning against yourself.

4. Choosing the Wrong Friends

When you’ve been hurt by love, abandoned as a child, (or kids have bullied you), it’s hard to know who is a friend and who is not. Trust isn’t easy to come by. You live with hard edges and walls.

5. Building Self-Protective Walls

Maybe you aren’t one for drugs or alcohol. Or self-destructive thoughts or behaviors. Yet, you’ve had to protect yourself from the fear there isn’t anyone to really count on.

6. Toughing It Out Alone (& Tired of It)

In fact, toughing it out alone is exhausting.

How to Get Help & Heal

It’s important to find a therapist who knows about abandonment as a child. And, gives you a place to feel and grieve. Grieving goes a long way to finding the real self you’ve shut out. Maybe never knew you had.

A Place for Feelings & Grief

When you find this kind of therapy, then you can begin to feel the feelings you’ve blocked out. Your sadness and your anger. You can talk honestly about all your feelings.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sandra Cohen

I am a psychoanalyst in private practice in Beverly Hills. I love my work. I also love to write, mostly about characters in film & their real human struggles.